Boredom.

They say that boredom is for simple-minded people who cannot entertain themselves with interesting thoughts. And that makes sense to me. But I also find myself bored more than most- I think. And I'm challenging myself to figure out if that is because I am simple-minded or because I need a change. 

For me, boredom isn't really about activity. Although that certainly can help. But boredom is more about mental stimulation- or the lack thereof. I find it very hard to find motivation if something is uninteresting or even just easy and repetitive. 

As I write the word repetition, I realize that is a source of boredom for me too. Just doing the same thing over and over- can just feel like misery. However, at the same time, I do find comfort in routine. Like I could be a freelancer, but I enjoy the rhythm of work hours and the consistency of the team. 

And of course, thinking of team, I'm talking about work, but really a huge driver or stimulation for me is the people I am around. And aside from my immediate team and a few friends I've made here- I find the place to be pretty vanilla and boring. I think part of that is Minnesota and part of that is working on the corporate side vs. the creative ad agency side. The vibe is entirely different. And since I measure my enjoyment by amount of side splitting laughter- the people around me are key. That's why work has been so important to me, and a key part of me thriving here. It's been hard as shit- I've never dealt with MORE work and more office and corporate politics- or been more physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted. And it's also been super hysterical working with my immediate team. Jackie makes me laugh SO hard. Sofya is a stitch. And everyone I have been able to hire on my team is super smart. And has an interesting perspective. But that is a microcosm.

So I'm realizing as I write that my work has a huge impact on my state of mental stimulation and sense of boredom. And I can feel that changing as new things have happened at work. My job is fine- but it's just not as challenging or new anymore. In fact- it's just getting easier. So maybe it's time for something new when it comes to work. Or maybe it's the midwest- and I have just happened to find a good spot in a sea of quiet, stoic, minnesota nice-ness- and maybe it's time for a new flavor.

Or maybe I just have to re-frame my situation. I try to challenge myself and say "You have all the control in the world of your days and nights and the things you choose to do and think and maybe you got so focused on work and kids that you forgot to keep trying and doing new things- and you just need to re-frame your situation."

But you know what is a really hard thing about being an optimal adult? Knowing whether it's time to make a change and decision or knowing that you simply need to change your perspective. It's just the toughest. On the one hand- the grass is never greener on the other side- but on the other...moss doesn't grow on a rolling stone.

Anyway- this is just one of the things on my mind lately. But I do have some things I am looking forward to in the next couple weeks...that should help break up some boredom.

1) Shoot in LA- I have two in the next couple months- one in the first part of may- one in the first part of June. It's always nice to get out of the corporate scene and focus on the creation.

2) Cinco De Mayo party- It was a huge success last year so we are "anniversary-ing" it this year- that's what people say in corporate america- it's so silly...and I know it will be fun when it happens but I'm kind of dreading it right now. I do that a lot. It's because I'm an extroverted introvert.

3) Girls weekend- I am going to San Antonio to see Kirsten mid-May, and then a bunch of girls are joining us from Austin for a resort weekend.

OH and next Friday a bunch of us from work are going to a meat raffle on Friday afternoon. It's a thing here. Bars and parties have meat raffles and it's not even a joke. So I could leave with a sausage link or a ham or who even knows!?!?!?!?! Pretty excited about that.

Okay gotta go. Love and like ya.