So it was really hard to come back here this time. Maybe it was the fact that we had such a good time, and we got to spend enough time in Austin that it felt like we almost lived there again, or maybe it was that even though it was in the 20s/30s in Texas, it felt warm compared to the weather here. This Monday we made CNN headline news with a -50 wind chill. And the crazy thing is- I found this out AFTER I had dropped the kids off at school, gotten gas, went to Target and returned some things at the mall. On the one hand- my first thought was "Who lives in a place that gets to -50 below? It's sort of a joke, right?" On the other hand, I sort of felt like "Well, yeah it felt cold but what is a person to do? Sit inside until May when it warms up?"
And so, those two feelings sort of exemplify how I have felt since we got back. Before I left, I was homesick, but happy. When we got back, I was like "What is it that makes me happy here again?" And I sincerely had to think about that for a while...because the things that make me the happiest there, don't really exist here. At least not in the same way. Family. Friends. Warmth. The general eclectic and laid-back-anything-goes vibe of Austin. And that was a very real moment for me. To realize that I have re-filtered what makes me happy here. Both that I have had to change how I look at happiness, and the fact that I have had the strength to re-frame and look for other things. I can't look for family and friends and warmth here. I have to look for experiences, learning, small family stuff. Or I won't be able to do it (happily) for even a day longer. So that was a realization.
Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday were tough. And then Tuesday I had lunch with my new boss and co-worker at my new job. And I left feeling really encouraged. In most ways, I feel like this is my FIRST real grown up job. Okay, at T3, I was 22 and when I started I didn't know shit about anything and I made a million mistakes and I guess I did a few things right, and more than anything, I was there to make money (very little) and make friends. And then at GSD&M, I really grew up. Sort of in front of everyone. And people were both invested in me and impressed with me, but at the same time, I feel that I always still seemed young and like the funny girl that I am.
And then I started at the agency here in Minneapolis. And it was an agency (which I was familiar with) and the CEO was friends with people at GSD&M and I was in a role I had done before (at least I thought I was going to be- they ended up really baiting and switching me) but I wasn't super intimidated by or it or nervous about it. Partially because of what it was, but also partially because I sort of feel like everything that happens in Minnesota is like an experiment. I mean, who really knows what even goes on in Minnesota beyond the people that live here??? No one.
But starting this new job- I feel like it's purely work. It's purely professional. It's a big job and it's all merit based. And I'm not there to make friends. Even though I hope I do. I'm just there to really kick ass and learn a ton and feel like I have contributed and accomplished something. So it's exciting and nerve racking. And I don't anticipate enjoying it for at least the first three months. The first three months are always a learning curve and it feels horrible to know nothing- and it's just part of trying new things- but people there say it takes at least six months...so I'm not even going to think about whether I like it or not for quite a while. It will be better than thinking about how GD cold it is here. Right?
Also on Tuesday, I got my haircut. It's a super cute LOB (long bob) although it's actually quite shorter than last time and a bit blonder too. I promised my grandma I would post a pic, so I will. I really like it. And I've decided that I will make an effort to blow dry and style it. So, I guess I will need to get up like 30 minutes early for that. But it's so damn cute styled. And mainly I don't style my hair for two reasons: 1) I don't have time and 2) I hate to damage it. But I had this realization today- who cares if it's undamaged if it looks like crap all the time? Ha. That made me laugh. So I will give it a shot. At least like three days a week.
And then today I didn't really do much of anything, but it was nice. Except tonight I met this friend for drinks that I met at Chik Fil A right before the break. She is from California, and we just started chatting it up and next thing you know, because she has only been here four months and girlfriend I have been there before, I gave her my number and now we are basically best friends. Okay not really best friends, but I did laugh really hard over drinks tonight. I'm looking forward to hanging out with her again.
And there is a good example of a reason you move. Because you do things you wouldn't do at home. Because you meet new people and they influence you and you influence them and that's how you grow, at the end of the day. But man, this winter. I can't do this forever. I honestly don't know who can. It's brutal.