So as you may or may not be able to tell- I'm really trying to figure out how I should be living my life, what I should be doing, how I should even be pursuing these answers...I think that maybe this has been going on since we moved here...so yeah, I'm not moving very quickly. I just hope I'm moving at all. Anyway, one thing I continue to hear is to just say "yes". Say a little yes, with even just a little faith, and this allows God in to do big things.
So as I've also mentioned, I follow and try to support a few different groups: Noonday Collection, Sole Hope, World Vision, Kwagala Ministries and a group called No. 41. I am definitely least intimately involved with No. 41, but I follow them and know that they are trying to empower women in other countries by having them sew (mainly bags) and that selling them in the states helps both those women, and provides food and even scholarships for kids in Africa. The most clear idea is that if you buy one of their signature bags, you support ONE CHILD, with ONE MEAL a DAY, for ONE YEAR. Simple, smart, effective, right?
Anyway, about a month ago, they posted on facebook that they have the opportunity to bring some people into what they are doing in Rwanda and they simply suggested you leave your email address if you are interested in learning more. And without any thought...I did. A small yes, right? And then I sort of forgot about it...until about two days after reading The Circle Maker, I got an email from them providing all the details about the trip.
12 days in Rwanda in January.
And they need a non-refundable deposit by October 1st. And if I'm honest, I know I should do it. I mean, there is no good reason why I shouldn't do it...and I don't think it's chance that it came up when it did, as I was praying for some purpose.
And but, I am already telling myself a million reasons why I shouldn't go. I hate that. The things that keep playing in my head: 12 days is too long to be away from my kids, I'd be half a world away from them, and it's pretty expensive (just due to the airfare even) and what will I tell work? And can I even handle what I will see? Maybe I should go next year, when Davis is in school, and we're not paying so much in daycare. Maybe I should just go on another trip? There are tons of other ones, right? I did promise Katie we would go to Singapore this spring.
The list goes on and on. But then, after I get through all those reasons it doesn't make sense, or the timing is not right, I continue to hear this little voice. Just one little voice that says "But what if you just said 'yes'?"
Oh geez. What if I just said YES?