Self Critical

I am, as a whole, usually not that critical of myself. I mean, I push myself hard at work, and I focus on being the best person I can be in my relationships, so for the most part, I know I'm doing my best.  I am not that person that has ever been like "Gosh, I wish I was prettier. I wish I was skinnier. My hair isn't very shiny. I wish I was smarter. My skin could be smoother..." I've really sort of liked myself...if that makes sense.

I think maybe that is something unique about me. Right or wrong- I'm pretty kind and forgiving of my shortcomings. Except lately. I don't know why but all of the sudden I am feeling so self critical. Just about everything about me physically could be/should be different. And sometimes even beyond the physical/image-driven. It's really not a very fun phase.

Or maybe it's what I need to really push myself to get back to what I think of as my "normal weight". In the past, when I've thought of things that I don't exactly love, I've been like "Yes, but..." and reminded myself of the great things that I am or do have. I'm having a harder time doing that lately.

Maybe it's my age. I noticed some gray hair a few weeks ago and it floored me. What the heck?
I don't even think Nikki has gray hair and she is 4 years older than me.

Anyway. I'm not looking for compliments. This blog is about chronicling my life -the great and the lame phases. And this is the phase I'm in.

BLECH. NO FUN.