Cloud Nine

So it's been hard managing everything while Bennett has been traveling so much. I'm not going to lie- I've complained about it, felt sorry for myself about it, and really just dwelled on it. It's hard to do everything at work and at home, and do it well, all by myself.

And the part that has been the hardest for me has been that short time from when I get home to when they go to sleep. Without fail, Holden wants to eat from about 6-7 so I'm constantly having to tell Davis "I'll play with you when I finish feeding Holden..." and then once I get her to bed, usually around 7:15, I have limited time to feed, bathe, and actually PLAY with Davis. It's the only time I get to spend with them during the week- it's SO stressful- and I don't feel like I'm really focusing on either one of them. I'm just barely meeting their basic needs.

But this week has been better. I've realized it's okay to let her cry a little. She is not going to die from waiting 10 extra minutes for her bottle. I've timed things better- I've figured out that I have this small window when I get home where I can lay her down and fix Davis' dinner so he is actually eating part of the time while I'm feeding her. I've also realized that I can engage with Davis more while I'm feeding her. Half of it is sitting and talking with him while he plays. And Holden really enjoys watching Davis- so that helps.

Anyway- two things happened yesterday that have put me on cloud nine today. The first is that I put Holden to bed at 7:30 last night...and she didn't wake up until 4:30. 4:30...NINE HOURS PEOPLE! FOUR MONTHS OLD, NINE CONSISTENT HOURS OF SLEEP! And then, on top of that, she didn't wake up until 7:45 this morning. Which meant, not only did I get to sleep, but I was able to get up at 7:00, take a shower, make Davis' lunch, throw some laundry in, and actually spend time with Davis in the morning. And I got to spend a little cuddle time with her at the 4:30 feeding. I looked down at her at one point and she was just smiling at me. Made my heart melt.

The second thing is that Bennett sent me a text last night after I had gone to bed that said "I love you. You're my best friend. I know that goes without saying..." And it really made me feel like a million bucks. We really are best friends. Yes, sometimes we want to kill each other (that's part of living together for 7 years) but at the end of the day- we really like each other! That's a great thing.

Anyway. I'm on cloud nine today. Sleep and love, man. Makes the world go round. When you get enough sleep, you find yourself doing things like singing "Cinnamon Raisin Toast" over and over to your two year old, to the tune of "This Little Light of Mine". AMAZING.