I ADORE HER

Remember how worried I was about having Holden? I didn't know if I would love her like Davis, or even close. I didn't know what it would be like to have a girl. I didn't think I'd have an immediate connection...and I really just worried that I would feel burdened by her. Sounds bad- but it's true. The good thing is- I couldn't have been more off. I ADORE HER. She is so sweet. I can't stop kissing her sweet little face and thinking about all the fun we're going to have together.

And so far, things are going great with my little man, too. He is happy and still thinks it's really fun to "go see baby" or "hug baby". I do my best to give him every minute of my time when he gets home from school- and I think that is helping. They said he was sensitive at school today, but I think that is to be expected with such a change.

For the most part, I hope it stays this way. I'm honestly waiting for the other shoe to drop. And I know it's early- but so far- it's been great. She did better last night- woke up every three hours- but went to sleep shortly after. She prefers to sleep on or by us...which is SO different from Davis. Today I took a nap with her on my chest- for two hours. It was awesome.

My only complaint is how much produce I have stuffed in my bra. Yes, I said it. Cabbage. Galore. To dry up the milk and it's MISERABLE. And the whole thing is PAINFUL. And stupid and gross to have to jam cabbage in my bra. Ugh.

Today we went to Holden's follow-up appointment. She has lost weight and that is unusual for formula babies. I told the doctor how much we're feeding her- and how the nurses at the hospital told us to give her that amount. Turns out we were underfeeding her by about 50%. Now, she hasn't been crying and she hasn't been up all night hungry, so it's okay...but we're upping her volume asap. I felt bad.

Separately, I'm nervous about Bennett going back to work. Doing it all myself. But I need to relax about it. It will be okay. I think he'll still help out at night here and there. I guess I'm really more nervous about when he first travels again. But I can do it. I think of all the single moms out there, a lot, and it makes me realize that I certainly have it easier than that.

Here are a few quick pics from my phone. I need to upload all the shots from my camera...and I still want to do a post of the weekend. Tomorrow. :)